I'm Okay If You Know I Wear Underwear

I was just at Wal-Mart standing patiently in the checkout line reading about the crazy marriage of Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller. I had chosen this particular check-out kid because he looked young, sprightly, and energetic and I figured I would be out of there in no time. I hadn't counted on the man two people in front of me shaking every carton of cigarettes against his ear before finally deciding to buy skoal. So I was getting a little ancy.

So the lady in front of me started piling her stuff on the checkout thingy, and she has miscellaneous Wal-Martish items, like tape and cat litter and dish towels. And then she stacks up some underwear, and rushes to cover it up with a magazine. She tries to be all casual like, "la di da...here I am at Wal-Mart...buying a bunch of crap...BUT NOT UNDERWEAR! Oh no, not me! No underwear here!"

And it made me wonder, why are people so embarrassed to buy underwear? Like it is some dark, shameful secret that we wear it. I mean, frankly speaking, I would be more judgmental if you never bought underwear. I would be piling my underwear up and making sure people knew that I regularly bought new underwear. I am not ashamed at all.

It made me wonder what I try to hide in my shopping cart. I always feel a little sheepish when I show up with a bunch of wine, like I wonder if they think I am going to drink it all. But underwear...I'll just be completely honest with you - I buy underwear, and I am not ashamed.

And I am totally cool with you knowing that.