Sunday, December 2, 2007

One and a Half Glasses of Wine

I wish I could live my life the way I feel when I've had one and a half glasses of wine.

When I've had one and a half glasses of wine, I can sit back and soak in the world around me. Everything my child does is genius. Solutions to problems come quickly to mind, and everything becomes simple.

When I've had one and a half glasses of wine, I become the parent I want to be, knowing that if my son told me at age 19 that he wanted to get in the car and drive to New England to see the leaves change, I will tell him to go, that he should go and experience the world.

Having one and a half glasses of wine makes me a better singer and dancer. And I can remember all of the funny lines to my favorite movies and inject them into conversation at just the right moment.

One and a half glasses of wine lets music wash over me like waves and lyrics mean so much more. A sad song is more touching, and a happy one makes me forget that I don't know any good dance moves.

When I have had one and a half glasses of wine, I become more in touch with my mortality, and become more thankful for the life that I have. My blessings are more obvious, my time is more precious, and my patience is thick with indulgence. It is a reminder that life happens once, and we are wise to stop once in a while and soak it in.

And then it hits me. What is so wrong with my life that I need to numb it with a bottle of cheap red wine to be happy? And then it hits me again - it's not my life, it's me. I can be a little intense. Some might say I am too hard on myself. I like those things about me, but everyone needs a break from themselves once in a while. What I'm trying to say is, one and a half glasses of wine lets me get out of my own way so I can appreciate just how amazing my life really is and take my focus off of the next hurdle to be cleared. And then, as it begins to fade and life resumes to normal, I become preoccupied with dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded, cats that need to be fed, and all of the little things that keep me from truly living in the moment. And that's fine; having a chance to step away and see the big picture for a while reminds me that I am one lucky lady.

Life comes at us fast. In the blink of an eye, a year has passed and we can't even remember what we did last weekend. If I have a resolution for 2008, it will be to live more of each day as if I have just had one and a half glasses of wine.