Thursday, January 24, 2008

I See London, I See France...I am sick of seeing your underpants

You know, it is really sad when we have to pass a law to make people pull up their pants.

This morning on my drive to work I heard about a bill moving through our government called the "Pull Up Your Britches Bill". It basically makes it illegal to wear pants that expose your unmentionables. I rather thought it should have been called the "I See London, I See France Bill," but no one asked me. Again.

I recently saw a kid wearing pants that were so low I almost missed my green light trying to figure out how he kept them from falling straight down to the ground. Safety pins? Velcro? Lots of practice walking without moving his hips? I wasn't sure, but I didn't approve. I also tire of seeing teenage girls walking around with the hot pink waistband of their thong peeking from their low-rise jeans. Then again, maybe I'm just jealous.

This would be a great opportunity launch into a tirade about the days when we had a sense of decency and self-respect in regards to our appearance, but I am going to try to not do that. I remember seeing an episode of "Leave it to Beaver," when Wally and Beaver are taking a bus to visit a cousin, and Wally asks if he can wear his blue jeans for the journey. Ward replied in surprise, "Why no, Wally. You'll need to wear your slacks and a sport jacket!" It made me laugh because I know that no matter what era you choose, there have always been people muttering how they don't know what's up with kids these days.

So is there really anything wrong with kids wearing clothes that make them look like morons? I did it when I was a teenager and...well, you can draw your own conclusions there. But really, if the worst thing someone does is wear stupid-looking pants, do we really have a problem?

I think the issue is that we are worried that wearing stupid-looking pants is a gateway activity towards doing something worse. Come on, we've all looked at those kids and assumed they were up to no good. For all we know they are the valedictorian of their class, curing cancer by day and rescuing kittens by night. But if while they're doing these heroic things, we can see their underwear...well, I just have a hard time not laughing.

I think maybe this legislation should be renamed as the "You'll Thank Us Later" bill. Kids will be kids and wear their moronic clothes (and I have the family photo albums to prove it), but eventually they will be adults and, hopefully, utter those familiar words: "what's the matter with kids today?"


Sghoul said...

Well, I just watched an episode of SVU dealing with the decency police. I am a firm believer in freedom of speach and expression. So, I don't have a problem with kids and their underwear. But that is also because I believe in treating people like theyr deserve to be.

You ponder if that kid is validictorian. Well, first off, even if he is, that doesn't mean he isn't up to no good. My Vali and Salud were two of the biggest jerks I knew in HS. One of them was constantly out drinking and smoking pot. Second, kids need to leanr that there are reprocussions for your actions.

Wanna have tats all over your body? Well, that means little old ladies are going to assume you want to steal your purse. Wanna have a gold grill and pants down to your knees? When a car is stolen, cops will want to question YOU.

Part of life is about how you dress. It is a fact. A fact I hate I might add. I would love to go through life never shaving, in jeans and flannel, with my hair long. But I don't. And when I do let those things slide, I know people's view of me changes.

So, go ahead and judge those kids. They deserve it. Yeah, Wally wanted to wear jeans. But his dad said no...and guess what...Wally did what his dad told him.

EDP said...

The funny thing is that kids dress this way for attention, yet the minute adults call attention to it, they don't like it. I remember it well, though my clothes in the '80s were crimes of fashion, not decency.

And really, how badass are you if a hundred other people are wearing the same screw-authority clothing? Ah, youth.